Talk about anti-climactic. The Dimensional Ripper from Goblin engineering can transport you to Area 52 with some unexpected results (if you’re lucky). The schematic is taught by Kablamm Farflinger – the Transportation Engineer located right next to the teleporter inside the Area 52 complex but after three tries, I’m left feeling rather ordinary. For the one item I don’t want to see “working as intended”, there was no random player/race skin like this one for Cool.

Area 52 transport

What you can expect to see if it successfully malfunctions is:

  • Transporter Malfunction – Looks like your pattern matrix got mixed up with the last person to use the transporter pad.
  • Soul Sprit: Evil! – Only the dark half of your soul made it through the transport.
  • Soul Split: Good! – Only the light half of your soul made it through the transport.
  • 1hr uncleanable debuff – Makes you look all gold and transparent.
  • Transport is successful but you’re on some random rock high up in the sky. Nothing that a flying mount/goblin glider or hearth won’t fix though.
  • turns you into a chicken

OK, the last one isn’t that exciting but did you know that donning Burgy Blackheart’s Handsome Hat can break the chicken transformation? It’s very handy for a class that can’t transform since you can’t actually mount with the debuff. I’m told shapeshifting (except for the moonkin), metamorphosis (warlock) and Lichborne (DK) can all remove the soul effects.

Orc Transformation

Over the years my two other engineers have walked away with something more interesting but my favourite has to be my female undead rogue transforming into a male Tauren during BC. I mean, what’s funnier than a stealthing Tauren? I did take a couple of pics back then but that was in my pre-blogging days so unfortunately, they don’t exist any more.

Area 52 transporter gadget

Kablamm, I think you should reimburse me for the cost of the materials so I can try and get a malfunctioning transporter. Talk about a disappointing level of consistency. No? Then how about a trade? I’ll give you my Dimensional Ripper for your snazzy little controller to wear as an off-hand and we’ll call it even, ok?

What’s the most interesting malfunction combination you’ve had so far? Have you created an evil-looking Sky Golem or dark Tyrael Charger?

For non-Aussies, here‘s where the title came from.